Archive for March, 2014

Our minds chatter,  our brain cells clash and our body follows.

Myself and many others lost a friend to substance abuse recently.  It’s difficult.   The first question that pops in my heart is WHY?  Emotions clog reality and I come up with an obscure conclusion.   But this has become a regular event.   Losing people to drugs and alcohol like it’s a sport.  My reactions are getting shorter and less infected. 

But I notice that I am on edge for a few days after getting news like this.  Deep down I really do care and I really am disappointed.  I’m at a loss for words,  constantly questioning the reasoning behind why we do this to ourselves.  I mean,  I was there and I know exactly what it’s like getting recked and destroying my life.  Not caring about ANYTHING but myself.  Pushing the limits of my sanity and brutally killing myself day by day.

I haven’t forgotten.  I will never forget.  I am reminded daily of my destructive past.  What it’s like to lose all hope and all my faith.  And I mean all of it.  I was so lost when I was using that I didn’t know what was going on.  Like a plane in the clouds, having pills as my control tower.

So I’m on edge a bit, reminded of the true reality of addiction and what its soul purpose is.  Did I lose touch with or stray away from my past and my reason for staying clean?  Was my recovery on a little sabbatical?  Did I need to hear of another loss to ‘wake me up’?  No.  But it’s like jumping into a pool and realizing the water is freezing cold.  You tense up and become very alert.

Sadly, it’s not the person who has died who has to live with the pain.  It’s everyone around them that loved and cared for them.  The one’s that tried to help.  The one’s that turned their back on them when they couldn’t deal with the stealing and lying and the irresponsibility any more. 

Some people may have saw it coming.  Some of us aren’t that surprised because we knew the path they were on.  We tried, counselors tried,  the program tried,  even they tried but just couldn’t get it.  So that’s it.  Another one gone.  What are we going to do.  What CAN we do.  Live and let live right?  To each his own.  Ain’t none of my business.  I have priorities and one of them isn’t wasting time with a bottom feeding addict.

Those excuses get us nowhere.  We need to care.  We need to be good examples for our children, our friends and our family.  We can’t give up on people.   You know, encouragement goes a looooong way.  Tell them that they do not have to live like this and that they CAN do better and that it is in them to do better.  Offer help without enabling or feeding their addiction.  Tell them that they were created for a purpose and if they ask you what their purpose is,  tell them that their purpose will be revealed once they come clean and begin surrendering their addiction. 

And don’t talk like you’re hanging with one of the guys.   Get down to the point.  Hit a nerve.  Piss them off if you have to.  Be truthful.  Be honest.  Give them something to think about next time they decide to use.  But be sincere,  speak from your heart.  If you don’t love them,  tell them that God loves them and tell them that they are not alone,  that there is hope. 

Let them know that people do make it through addiction.  That addicts do come clean, that we do admit we are wrong and that we do indeed need a Savior to free us from our bondage and our strife!  We need to surrender DAILY, put ourselves second and start walking with our heads up knowing God is with us,  and when He is with us,  who can stand against us?

Love is action, faith is action, helping is action; take action TODAY.

“O LORD my God, I called to You for help and You healed me.” Psalm 30:2
He is amazing, take a walk with Him and see. 😉

Become Free… Become the Difference


This question is asked when we are at the crossroads. Maybe a friend, family member or a counselor will ask this when life is simply unmanageable or when we realize our way just isn’t working.

How Bad Do You Want It? Do you even know? Are you sure you even want it? Unfortunately, I got way past the point of wanting it, I got to the point where I needed it. And I knew it. It was either death by self or some form of help.

Asking an addict how bad do they want to get better is like asking a non addict how bad do you want to stop breathing. Ironically it’s that serious. In an addicts mind, the drug use and substance abuse is just like breathing fresh air.

Now, if you are not struggling with drug/substance abuse, you can stop here. This is for people struggling with drug addiction. This is for the stubborn ones who think they are fine. The ones who think no one knows.

Remember when you were last clean? That may take a few seconds. How about this… remember the last time you looked in the mirror and were proud of yourself? How about the last time you kept a promise?

Ask yourself how bad do you REALLY want it. Take a second and look back at the damage you have done. To your mom, your dad, your grandparents, your kids; to yourself. How about those REAL friends you had, yeah, the ones who don’t want to be around you anymore because you’re messed up. It bothers you but you know deep down inside you did this to yourself. You made your own prison of solitude and confinement. I know, you can’t wait for that next high.

You are so deep into your addiction you forget what it’s like to have real friends. You forget what it’s like to actually get 8 hours of sleep and wake up relaxed and at peace. You forget what it’s like to keep a job and be honest, to save money, to pay bills on time, to keep promises you have made, to think like a normal person.

Don’t you want to know why the voice that tells you to use is the same voice that ridicules you after you do? Remember when scheming new ways to hustle and get high were non existent? When checking peoples medicine cabinets for prescriptions, stealing money out of purses and selling the stupidest things to get high became a new hobby? What about all the thoughts on ways to get money to get high? I bet you don’t have to think too deep on that one.

Is “I Am A Full Blown Addict” on your resumé? Ever tell anyone the exact nature of what you do and how you do it? Ever discuss your methods with anyone on what your brain patterns are like and what you go through every minute of every day? How about the withdrawals? We both know what happens when you are dope sick. One word, autopilot.

How bad do you want it? How bad do you want your life back to where all of this is behind you? Think about it. You are either high or hurting right now. Either way, you have a choice every day to choose.

I am telling you that you do not have to live like this. As bad as you want to get high is how bad you need to want to get help and change. Get on your hands and knees and ask God for help. Get right with Him. Admit you are wrong, admit you are selfish and are in need of a Savior. Get to meetings. Find a detox and a rehab where you can gain knowledge on why you do what you do. Get back the basic principles on life and back to living the way you are supposed to, with purpose. There are resources all around you, you just need to start looking. Surround yourself with productive people. People who will not enable you and pull you down.

God loves you so much, He is always there, waiting with open arms. Do what ever it takes to stop this destructive lifestyle.

Here is a phone number to call for a detox or a rehab near you in the Unites States. Make a call. Be responsible and become free TODAY. 888-831-2327 or visit

God is bigger than your addiction.

Become Free. Become the Difference!

How To Become Free